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Christmas, Corey Taylor, Elton John, John Lennon, Mark Lanegan, Music, Pogues, Slade, Wham, Wizzard
I think we can all agree, everybody hates a Grinch. Tis the season and we’re all getting into the Christmas spirit. Christmas is my favourite time of the year and I’ve never seen the purpose of those who just feel the need to shit on it. I think most of us would agree, diss Christmas and you’re getting shanked, ho (ho ho ha ha oh god). But there’s one aspect of Christmas that we’re all allowed to hate. It’s not the blatant consumerism or the gaudy lights and decorations. It’s the dreaded Christmas song. The obnoxious joy blasting out your radio non-stop, it truly is the worst thing about the holiday season.
If you hate fun.
Christmas songs are great and it’s time somebody stood up for them. Obviously that guy’s got to be me. First, let’s look at the most common complaint against Christmas tunes. “They’re so overplayed.” Ok, straight off the bat we can see what’s wrong here. Christmas songs are Christmas songs, they only get played once a year. Of course the argument is that for that one month in December they’re inescapable, but I’ve never found that to be true. They’re certainly no more overplayed than any other song on the radio. In fact, in December you’ve got all the Christmas tunes vying for airplay along with the newest hits, I rarely hear any Christmas song more than once or twice per year, unless I choose to listen to it. Besides, this is the 21st century, you dinosaurs. Who still listens to radio?
Then there are people who just hate joy. It would seem to them every bad Christmas song is bad because it’s happy. While it’s true that there are some terrible, joyous Christmas songs (Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” and “I Wish It Was Christmas Today” by Julian Casablancas chief among them), those songs aren’t bad because of the tone of them, or because of the time of year they’re associated with. They’re bad songs simply because they’re bad songs. There are plenty of great, happy Christmas songs; just look at “Step into Christmas” or “Merry Christmas Everyone”.
Or maybe you hate happy music in general. Maybe “Walking on Sunshine” pisses you off just as much as “I Wish it could be Christmas Every Day.” Well first of all, what the hell is wrong with you? Second, there are still plenty of songs out there for you. Wham’s “Last Christmas” doesn’t tell a happy tale, John Lennon’s “Happy X-Mas (War Is Over)” is the most sarcastic song you’ll ever hear and a brilliant attack on the Vietnam War, and “Fairytale of New York”, one of the most popular Christmas Songs, couldn’t possibly be mistaken for being anything near happy.
That said all of them do still have a certain sound of merriment to them. You can still hear the sleigh bells in the background and I guess that bothers some people. That’s where Mark Lanegan’s EP, Dark Mark Does Christmas 2012, comes in. While lyrically the songs aren’t particularly dark (being covers of classic carols they are more religious in nature) the EP does exactly what it says on the tin, delivering them in Lanegan’s distinctive dark style. I implore any hater of Christmas songs to listen to the haunting opening track, a take on “The Cherry-Tree Carol” and not love it.
I doubt I’ve changed anybody’s mind with this blog. Some people will forever have hearts full of unwashed socks and souls full of gunk, but I do hope you’ve taken in what I said. There’s no real reason to hate Christmas songs as a whole, even if you do hate most of them. Shitting on such a broad definition is unnecessary, as Christmas songs really only give a vague definition of what the song will be about, not its tone or quality. And for those who are just Grinches who hate Christmas in general; good news, there’s even a song for you.
Dumb Music Talk 