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Being a music journalist, I’m obliged to talk about the Grammys. They are after all, the most important night in music. That is to say, not very important at all. The most difficult thing about writing about the Grammys is finding it in myself to give a damn. Seriously, the Grammys are the most inane, irrelevant award show there is, even more so than the Oscars or Emmys.

 So how exactly am I supposed to talk about them? I could discuss every way in which they are irrelevant. For example, the best rock album award went to Led Zeppelin’s Celebration Day. A live album that was recorded five years ago, from a band that haven’t produced any new original material in over 30 years won best rock album over actual new material from bands and artists like Queens of the Stone Age (my personal choice for the category), or David Bowie (who was my best guess for the win).

Or, since nobody cares about the awards, we could discuss just how irrelevant the performers were. One of the most hyped performances was by Metallica and concert pianist Lang Lang. Metallica, a band who haven’t produced any new material in over five years were one of the biggest performers at the Grammys. Not to mention the closing performance, featuring members of the LA rock scene, specifically Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stone Age, Dave Grohl and Lindsay Buckingham. Now, I like all those people and thought it was a great performance (at least, before it was cut short), but Grohl is the only person there who can claim any sort of relevance in 2014.

But honestly, I don’t care about any of that. The Grammys are so irrelevant that I don’t care about how irrelevant they are. In fact, I was under the impression that nobody cared about the Grammys. But I was wrong. It seems this year the Grammys succeeded in rattling a lot of people’s cages. First there were people mad that Beyonce showed a bit too much for their sensitive minds. Then, there was anger over Macklemore daring to promote gay rights, something that in 2014 I find baffling that anybody cares about. To me it seems weird that gay rights is even an issue. I know there’s meant to be two sides to any argument, but here there really isn’t. People who oppose gay rights are people who oppose the happiness of others.

After that the in memorial segment angered metalheads who felt Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman was snubbed. Despite not being a fan of Slayer’s music, this I can understand getting upset over. While it may seem unsurprising that a member of one of the heaviest bands in mainstream consciousness wasn’t mentioned at the Grammys, Slayer have been nominated for five Grammys, two of which they won. Not to mention that, whether you like them or not, they are undeniably an important band in metal history.

The final upset of the night came from Trent Reznor, who was upset that his performance was cut short. After the night, Reznor tweeted, “Music’s biggest night… to be disrespected. A heartfelt FUCK YOU guys.” Reznor being upset may seem understandable at first, but it begs the question; why was he even at the Grammys? He knows as well as any of us that it’s irrelevant. In 2010 he tweeted, “The Grammys = the old guard / old media propping up their puppets trying to convince the outside world (and each other) they’re relevant.” This tweet was deleted shortly after the announcement that Nine Inch Nails would be performing at the Grammys. Reznor has less right than anyone to be upset over the Grammys, considering the LA rock scene’s performance was solely to convince the outside world (and each other) they’re relevant.

So at the end of the day, what can we take from this? Well, apparently people still care about the Grammys. And nobody cares more than the people complaining about how little the Grammys matter. Which would explain why I just wrote over 600 words on the subject.